The worst street names in the world

An errand yesterday took me to a subdivision I'd never seen before where the streets were named for qualities the houses lacked. There was Captivating Avenue and Entrancing Avenue. Lively Court. Novel Court. Pleasing Court. It was ghastly.

But I guess honest names — McMansion Way, Cookie Cutter Lane, Cheap Stucco Boulevard — were simply out of the question. I'd still take any of those over Alluring Avenue. Hell, I'd even prefer to live on Cheap Chinese Drywall Circle.

It was the subdivision next door, though, that really set a new low.

They drew names from decorative touches you might find on a house. Niche Avenue. Column Court. Balcony Trellis Avenue. Yes, Balcony Trellis Avenue.  It's a real street.

Put yourself in the shoes of a homeowner there. Your house has plummeted in value. You're way upside down on the mortgage. You're in a neighborhood of cloned stucco shoeboxes, many of which are empty, perhaps foreclosed. You're way out on the edge of town where all the growth used to be, but those days may be gone for good.

And you live on a street called "Musical Mantle."

Give up, dude.